Today I was taking a shower and a leaf fell off my ass. I'm not really sure how it somehow managed to wedge itself between my cheeks throughout the course of the day: maybe it has just been growing there over time. Just another of the many mysteries in my curious version of a life.
A week or two ago my friend and I were on our way to see a movie at a new movie theater. We had spent the day mainly getting rejected by girls and driving around in circles so we were ready to rot our brains away with some mindless entertainment. The movie started at 8:20, which was just about when we arrived at the theater. There was only one guy selling tickets, but he was nice enough to hook us up with seats even though the movie had technically already started. We went to go get snacks and somehow, out of the blue, two people just blatantly cut me in line, as if I was a ghost. I was about to order and they just barged their way in on two separate occasions, leaving me there sheepishly drooling. After they ordered their food, my friend and I finally reached the counter and ordered some overpriced crap before proceeding to the theater. To our dismay, however, the usher would not let us in, because apparently the theater does not allow people to enter 10 minutes after a movie begins. It was 10:30. To add insult to injury, most of the time lost was due to the people who cut us in line. Shocked, we got our refund and dragged our feet out of there, sitting down on a dirty curb once we got outside. We resorted to the usual -- texting girls -- and as my friend sends a message saying "Nice", it autocorrects to "Zinc we". My eyes sunk deeper into their sockets as the meows started to gather in my throat, and I continued to munch on the greasy tub of popcorn in my lap.
When I got a ticket for going 75 on a 65 mph highway about a week ago, I was somewhat relieved, because I knew my bad karma with regards to driving would be temporarily satisfied and I probably wouldn't end up getting in a bad crash or anything (at least in the near future). That hasn't really been the case though, because recently my car has decided to play bumper cars in the local parking lots, and I've ran over more curbs, scratched more speed bumps, and knocked more mirrors in than ever before. Luckily for me no one has soiled their pants in the passenger seat yet (although my friend did say he's been close to it on more than one occasion). Let's hope this streak can hold up until I get through traffic school.
This blog has gotten to the point where people have started to request being mentioned in a post. Now I want to make this clear that this won't be a regular thing, and to get mentioned you have to do something very special. This may be the only post where I do indeed mention people, so I hope you'll all be grateful, and maybe buy me some food or something. First off I wanted to shout out to Alex and Izzy, who have been bugging me in my zero periods for quite some time now. Hope you ladies are happy now. I also want to shout out to my girls CB, IB, and MO. Y'all know who you are, and you know I love ya.
Keep the pageviews rollin' ladies and gents.
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