Tale 2: The Fart

I'd like to just start off by saying that when I went into my AP Environmental Science class today and a girl told me I looked like a pirate. I didn't really know what to say or do so I just stood there, looking at her. But nevermind, that is a story for another day. Today was the day when the quintessentially embarrassing, shitty experience happened to me: I ripped ass in the middle of class. It was in AP US History, and everyone was dead silent, reading a document. Let me make it clear that this was not just any fart; this was some kind of distorted bubble of air that had its own personality and everything. It wasn't a squeaker, and it wasn't one of those deep, bellowing ones that vibrate the chair and all. No, this was a cheery, bubbly one that was really excited to come out and see the world. So I was just sitting there reading and all of a sudden this noise that resembles an airhorn decides to manifest itself and propel itself out of my asshole. My two friends on either side of me can barely contain themselves, and I just sat there angrily frowning at my paper. The worst part was that everyone in the class knew but they just failed to acknowledge it. So I am just sitting there in class boiling with anger, my classmates thoroughly disgusted by me, with some alien smell lingering about me. Yeah. That's how my day went.