Tale 3: The Little Things

I titled this post "The Little Things" because I would like to dedicate it to some of the smaller incidents and mishaps that happened to me today. These small, unrelated occurrences are what really get me sometimes: especially when I am least expecting it. To start out I would like to share that my friend started to read my last post about the fart to these two girls after soccer practice today. I had already basically lost the will to live by then so I didn't really care too much, but he was laughing so hard he could barely read it. The girls just kindof just sat there eyeing me, laughing mildly because they felt they had to but really thinking about how much of a weirdo I was. My friend finished the story and one of the girls made some comment about how weird I was, and I responded with a noise that was kindof like "Wice". I'm not really sure what it was; I'm pretty sure I was trying to say "Nice", but there is no way anyone can ever be sure. Anyways, one of the main points of this entry was to address the school dance on the weekend: the same day that someone laid a turd for me in the bathroom of a Chevron. My friend and I decided to go to this dance at about 8:00 because there was absolutely nothing to do and we were already mildly pissed and depressed. So we threw on some pants and showed up about halfway through a formal dance: we were dressed in khakis and shirts, typically. I struggle to find words to describe the event, but in a nutshell it was like walking in slow motion past horny, bouncing nerds overdressed in fancy attire. It was the most fun I have had in a long time. Towards the end, a grand conflict was sparked, when one of my nerd friends began to dance with a hot girl. The pandemonium that ensued was unthinkable: three upperclassmen fighting over a freshman girl. Even today at soccer practice the tension was at a new high. I was encouraging the bickering even though I wasn't really involved because I was pissed off. Now, I think that this event alone can illustrate the kind of alternate reality I live in. I am now going to cite some more examples that have occurred in recent history. The other day my friend and I uploaded a lame picture on Facebook as a joke. I usually get anywhere from 7 to 30 likes on my Facebook stuff, which is remarkable for someone in my position. Yet it has been two whole days and there are absolutely 0 likes. There aren't even any pity likes, which I was surprised by. A comment with 1 like has more likes than the photo itself. My parents started talking shit to me tonight too, which is impeccable timing on their part. They started making fun of me for no reason whatsoever, and my sister informed me that they were "acting weird". Coincidence? I think not, and that reason also leads me to believe that there is some divine involvement in my suffering. Like today at lunch, the wind somehow managed to thrust my empty lunch plate into the air and off of the table, leaving my other friends empty trays rooted in their spots. Luckily for me that was the only time that God actually got me, although he tried numerous other times. He was aiming for me when he knocked my friend's iPhone out of his hand, and he also made a kid near me trip while going up the stairs. Even last week too, I was walking with a full plate of food and spilled it all in front of some 9th graders while on my way to an important meeting. At least it looks like I have survived another day, but pretty soon I may have to start wearing a helmet and pads wherever I go. We'll see.